Shanghai Xiaochi: Offering the Best in Gross Gourmet

Shanghai Xiaochi
Address: Kabukicho 1-3-10, Shinjuku
東京都新宿区歌舞伎町1-3-10　
TEL: 03-3232-5909



Kabuki-Cho is infamous for its seedy back streets and questionable establishments, and nothing captures the black market feel of the district better than Shanghai Xiaochi.



Pushed into the far recesses of the alleyways away from public view, this hole in the wall’s ancient architecture makes it stand out against the rows of newly rebuilt high rises that flank it, assuming you know where to look. Venture from the dank streets and into its garish interior and all it takes is a cursory glance at the menu to find out why it lies far from prying eyes. Dog stew, broiled dove, steamed scorpions—But rest assured, these items are chosen for their flavor rather than their shock value.

Deep Fried Frog



Tasty though unwieldy, like chomping on a chicken nugget with a fully formed skeleton. The bones take up precious real estate, which means less meat for your dollar, though once you spit them out you can play archeologist and try to combine them into a new animal.

Curried Bull Penis



Imagine if string cheese was combined with konyaku and you’d have a good idea of what it feels like to chow down on a bull’s tallywacker. Surprisingly stringy and ambient in flavor, you’re guaranteed a mouthful of pure protein with every flaccid bite.

Rabbit Stir-Fry



Soft and delectable, like tenderized marinade. The rest of the developed world needs to get on this culinary technology.

Gelatinized Duck Blood



Darker and heavier than its bone-meal supermarket brethren, blood Jell-O is a real treat, especially when served in a pool of spicy rayu sauce. The whole thing comes together like an edible visage of Phlegethon, complete with bits of fleshy cow stomach bobbing along the surface.

Pork Brains



Silky as soft serve with the cohesive consistency of tofu, these gray folds melt in your mouth and coat the inside with a creamy film of fat. Unfortunately, the dish must be served fresh, making it a case of first-come first-serve. The economic downturn has cut further into supply, reminding us that not even brains are safe from the dreaded Lehman Shock.



For those of you looking to expand your Friday night palette beyond the standard yaki niku and curry, all you have to do is follow the sign to a world of underground delicacies. Just be sure to leave your cultural reservations at the door.

Kinnikuman T-Shirt Festival

Beneath its flaky exterior of brutal signature moves and fart jokes, Kinnikuman is built around a solid core of wrestling in-jokes and references, so its only natural that its apparel also be recognizably obscure and dense. The boys over at BamBamBigelow88 do not disappoint and bring to the ring the things that inspire man-children most: Metal albums, action figures, bone-crushing body slams, and limited edition T-shirts!



The Parco in Kichijoji is running a mini-Kinnikuman exhibition from now until May 13th as part of their NICE MEAT Spring collection. It you pick up one of the figures, shirts, or caps you also get a swag character pin so if you have even a passing interest in the series, wrestling, or things that are awesome you’d better stop on by. Tie-in products tend to be chintzy but these are the real deal. The quality of both the materials and design are top notch. You can tell that this stuff is made by fans that love the show and just want to spread the insanity.



According to urban legend, series writer Takashi Shimada asked artist Yoshinori Nakai to design a logo for their manga that could be drawn in the least possible number of strokes, for ease of graffiting across notebooks, desks, and bathroom walls. Where have I heard that before…?



Every piece of apparel tells a story and that story gets added to the ever growing muscle-bound mythology. You're not a true Gen-X slacker unless you know your Kinnikuman!

Kinnikuman Shop

Robot Empire

What if...

Great works of science fiction were written as fan fiction for cheesy cover art, and not the other way around?

What if...
This cover art was all from American pulp magazines from the 50's and 60's?

What if...

The great work of science fiction was I, Robot?

You might end up with something like...

The Empire of the Robots

Miniaturized man VS Micro robot

(Art from Amazing Stories)

Exclusive release from the Noda Collection
Materials/Collection: Kouichiroh Noda
Planning/Composition/Adaptation: Ohtomo Shoji

Japan has a long history of borrowing Western sci-fi elements wholesale. From Tezuka and Metropolis to Hideo Kojima and Blade Runner, the country is not shy about cherry picking their favorite visual and thematic elements for their half-baked psycho-babble pies. And now here we are, ripping off a Japanese magazine ripping off American magazines from half a century ago.

The circle is complete! Please enjoy the mad-libs caliber retelling of Asimov's timeless morality puzzle, I Robot.

Subservient Robots

Top Left: U. S. Robots began selling humanoid robots in 1996. At this point positronic brains had become ultra-miniaturized to the same size as a human brain. The first household robots were non-vocal. Robots were created to serve as obedient servants to humanity and quickly became useful helpers. Some robots were born to amuse humanity. Robots became man’s new best friend.

(From I, Robot by Isaac Asimov)
(Art from Fantastic Universe Science Fiction)


Top Right: The ring had both its human champion and machine champion. When the two fought head-to-head, it was always the robot pugilist who lost.
(Art from Amazing Stories)


Bottom: A robot salesman is waiting for the saucer bus to arrive. Robots are not allowed to ride the same bus as humans.
(Art from Fantastic Universe Science Fiction)


Robots became increasingly miniaturized and specialized. Cleaning robots sold out the moment they were released to the public, and were soon scurrying about homes, picking up fallen pens and cleaning trash. They worked through the night, moving throughout rooms as noiseless as a cat.
(Art from Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine)

Deviant Robots

From the remains of their broken and malfunctioning brethren, robots salvaged usable parts to piece together new, superior models. They worked in secret, away from human eyes.
(Art from Galaxy Magazine)


Robots increased in number by year, by the month, and finally, by the day. Eventually, robots came to far outnumber humans in all cities. Their intellect grew with their numbers.
They became capable of repairing themselves, leading humans to outlaw self-repair after a few years. However, come nightfall, there was nothing to stop the robots from modifying themselves and their kin.

One night, the servant robot began to moan in a strange voice. It had been prone to mistakes as of late. When the robot mechanic inspected it, he found that the A.I. that belonged in its head was gone, replaced with a white mouse.
(Art from IF Magazine)

Robots Run Amuck

Top: The robot marched up to the gas station and snatched the pump, stuffing the nozzle in its mouth. It began gulping down the contents, paying no heed to the humans who tried to stop it. Alcoholic robots were an epidemic.
(Art from Fantastic Universe Science Fiction)

Bottom: Apartment-dwelling bachelors have robot maids to handle the housework. Suddenly, one brandishes a meat cleaver and charges at its startled master. The revolution had begun, and no home was safe. Come morning the rooms stood silent. The worried landlord put in a call to the Office of Robotics.
(Art from Amazing Stories)


U.S. Robots was resolute. “Robots are not to have articulate hands or be too powerful. We must create robots that understand human thought and can empathize with human emotion.”
The following year, the factory’s newest creation was highly receptive to human brain waves. Its capabilities surpassed those of humans. That day marked the beginning of the tragedy.
(From I, Robot by Isaac Asimov)
(Art from Wonder Stories)

Robots on the Run

The captured robot was thrown into the enormous smelting pot without question. A court trial would be wasted on a robot.


One day, every last inhabitant of the town vanished without a trace. The robots were likewise nowhere to be found. The Office of Robotics called the army in to investigate. Robots were waiting with guerilla tactics. Basements of buildings, the depths of warehouses, bomb shelters, sewage pipes, landfills—the robots hid in every place imaginable. At the same time the army was moving in with metal detectors and giga counters and even burrowing underground in search of the guerilla robots, they decreed three laws to contain the machines:

The Three Laws of Robotics:

One: A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Two: A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Three: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws."

(From I, Robot by Isaac Asimov)
(Art from Amazing Stories)

Robots Strike Back

Humans moved to finish off the routed robots by cutting of their power supply. However, the robot insurrection spread in a flash, like a world engulfed in flaming gasoline. The guerilla robots contacted one another and together elected a leader. They assembled an even stronger giant robot. Suddenly, they opened their counterattack en masse.
(Art from Amazing Stories)


Human weapons improved exponentially, their abilities and strength growing over time. However, these had little effect against an enemy that couldn’t be seen. Terrified of their invisible foe, humans lost the will to fight. Two or three robots alone were enough to annihilate most of the human soldiers at any given base. Robots ruled the skies.
(Art from Galaxy Magazine)

Born into civilization and raised by automatons, humans could do nothing but cower when the robots turned against them. Human solidarity had dissolved into disarray in the blink of an eye No sooner did the robots begin to arrogantly take to the streets during the day that they had commandeered the capitol. The air became filled with the screams of hunted humans.
(Art from Fantasy and Science Fiction Magazine)
(Art from Wonder Story Magazine)

Robot Victory

The Age of Robot Supremacy

A captured human faced one of two fates—instant death, or total lobotomization. Although the robots possessed intellect far beyond any human, they were nothing more than heaps of metal, and were as equally cold and heartless. Insanity ran rampant among the surviving humans, and insane asylums were bursting at the seams from the sudden influx of madmen. Those released after being lobotomized could do little else but beg for their meals.
The end had come. The Earth was now an empire of the robots…



“I have seen the growth of robots, from when they could not even speak and up until the downfall of man. Now I can bear to see no more.” Dr. Susan Calvin, chief robopsychologist of U.S. Robots, said as her 82 years on this earth came to an end.
Who will be there to see the world after her?
(From I, Robot by Isaac Asimov)
(Art from Galaxy Magazine)

This story includes sections from Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot, but otherwise stands independent as an original scenario.

Kazuo Umezu's 55th Anniversary Dinner Show (Part 2)

The fans have spoken and the results are in for the first Umezu Girl’s Beauty Contest poll! Kazz reminisced over his most popular characters, offering insight into his creative process and digressing into trivia along the way. Stick around to see who was crowned scream queen.

Number Ten

Tamami (From Akanbo Shojo)

Kazz(K): This is where you use the phrase, “She’s beautiful on the inside!” But it actually applies in Tamami’s situation.

When I set out to create a monster for this story, I tried to think of the least scary thing in the world to flip, and it doesn't get less threatening than a baby. The results, as you can see, were terrifying.

I’m rather fond of the scene where Tamami puts her sister Yoko in the guillotine, so I thought it would be nice if on tonight’s menu we had little toy guillotines with wieners—Finger food! Sadly, it was shot down for budgetary reasons.

Number Nine (Three-way tie)

Barbara (From Fourteen)

Kazz had no particular notes for this character so instead we got an anecdote from Demerin:

When I was in elementary school I stayed home sick one day. My mother brought me one of Umezu Sensei’s comics called Kai (meaning Bizzare). What kind of mother gives her sick daughter horror manga? I think she was trying to kill me but her plan failed and I recovered. Now I am immune to horror. Thank you for the murder attempt, mother. Oddly enough, I am not the only one; (mangaka) Kentaro Takekuma and (director) Noboru Iguchi told me they had the exact same thing happen to them.

Izumi (From Left Hand of God, Right Hand of Devil)

K: Up until this point, the horrific elements in my stories were all external. Take Tamami, for example. The fear has an all too physical form. With Left Hand of God, Right Hand of Devil, I wanted to show fear as something internal that wrenches its way out from inside of you. Hence the rusty scissors, skeletons, and dead children that come pouring out Izumi!

Yoshikawa (From Drifting Classroom)

K: This story has nothing to do with manga, but when I was young I loved persimmons. Well, the thing about persimmons that nobody tells you is that they are big orange balls of fiber! Now I won’t get into the details, but lets just say that I ate too many, and now I know how a pumpkin feels to have its guts dug out with a spoon!

Number Eight

The Sisters (From Orochi)

K: Hairstyles are the best way to make your characters unique on the page. Manga’s black and white, so this can lead to all sorts of problems when you have color covers. Make sure your blondes don’t turn brown!

Number Seven

Saki (From Drifting Classroom)

K: Drifting Classroom has inspired many works, so what inspired Drifting Classroom, you ask? I wanted to create a world of all children and see what happened. They create their own government and go on to murder each other—I wonder where they picked up these habits from?

Number Six

Yoko (From Akanbo Shojo)

K: When I was working on Akanbo Shojo all my assistants quit on me, except for one who was just out of junior high. How did I get by with just one assistant? Well, that goes to show you what a good teacher I am!

I always had ads out for new help. “Looking for a female manga assistant who can cook,” and so on. Much later I found out that people were afraid that if they answered the ads, they’d be kidnapped and imprisoned beneath the floorboards. If only!

Number Five

Ayumi Nishi (From Drifting Classroom)

K: Classroom scenes are filled with characters so you have to draw a lot of faces at the same time. It’s hard to remember people’s face, much less their name, or if they’re still alive in the story at this point, so you need to come up with a special way to draw each of them to help you differentiate.

The school started with 800 students. This wasn’t a figure that I pulled out of thin air. I read that it was the number of people needed to provide a group with adequate genetic diversity for repopulation, that and there needed to be enough dead bodies to fertilize the soil.

Number Four

Mika Sawada (From Makoto-Chan)

K: She would be a pretty girl if she weren’t puking all the time! The reader projects themselves onto the characters, so even though her actions may be pretty extreme, I’m sure lots of people wish they could have the kind of sibling love that she and Makoto-Chan share.

Number Three

Sakura (From Baptism)

K: The concept for Baptism was based on the real life story of Hara Setsuko, a post war actress who has remained hidden from the public eye since her retirement in 1962. Sakura’s mother switches bodies with her daughter to maintain her youthful beauty, so who knows? Hara Setsuko may still be out there in an unfamiliar form. That young idol you’ve been seeing on TV lately? Who knows where she got the body from!

Number Two

Marin (From I Am Shingo)

K: I’m always particular about the names I give my characters. Something about “Marin” caught me and wouldn’t let go. The sound has a certain quality to it.

A classic scene from I Am Shingo involves the characters jumping from the top of Tokyo tower. If I was going to draw it, I wanted to see it, but you’re not allowed to the go out on the actual roof! I had to crane my neck up a skylight, and even then I couldn’t see what was going on, so my art may have some discrepancies! See if you can catch them.

Later in the story Marin moves to Europe. I followed the same method—I don’t like to draw things from photographs. So it was off to Europe for some field research! Turns out that it looked just like the pictures!

Number One

Orochi (From Orochi)

K: Who didn't see this one coming?

Given my insane schedule at the time, I had to finish each issue in two days. I would get home from my studio at 4:00 AM, then wake up at 8:00 to do it all over again. I may not always remember to clean my ears, but I always make my deadlines!

Kazuo Umezu's 55th Anniversary Dinner Show (Part 1)

Last Sunday was Umezu Kazuo’s 55th Anniversary Dinner Show at Odaiba’s Culture Culture. This was a very personal event, an eat-and-greet of sorts with Kazz's long-time supporters seated around him. Tickets, of course, were open to the public, but you start to notice the same fans at these venues, making you feel like part of an extended Addam's family.

Since this is a dinner show, the obvious highlight would be the food. And since this is an Umezu event, the menu is guaranteed to be as stomach turning as his manga.

Squirmy Turd Curry


Not so obviously disgusting until you pour the drippy brown curry over the rice. The carrots should have been baby corn, however.

Makoto-Chan Macho-Me Macho-Me Onigiri



Wherever there’s one Macho-Me another is sure to follow… Though seemingly benign, especially in comparison to the rest of the night's fare, imagine having to cut the seaweed into hundreds of tiny circles and teardrops. Gyoe!

Chicken George Happy Birthday Chicken



As prophesized in the manga Fourteen, in the future chickens will be grown in vats as lumps of protein, ready to eat! Of course, this will be due to species extinction, not humanitarian reasons.

Cat-Eyed Boy Yokai Tumor Balls



Cancer cells are tuned specifically to their host body, making them benign to others. You can eat all the tumors you want and not worry about a thing!

Makoto-Chan GWASH!! Pancakes



Imagine all the damage you could do with a Gwash-shaped branding iron. Mark my words, self-cauterization will be the next big thing in fandom.

Meoto Garasu (夫婦烏)



Between mouthfuls of questionable quinine we were treated to musical acts from four of Kazz’s alter egos. Meoto Garasu (夫婦烏) warmed the crowd up with a haunting though disappointingly short set. Don’t worry, they’re not transvestites. Rather, they’re cosplaying the family from the Orochi movie, with Demerin as the father, Matsuda-San from Shogakukan Productions as the mother, and Kazz as the darling daughter Yoshiko. You can see them performing Shinjuku Garasu in this clip from last September’s Umezz Carnival Special Rock Live.




Caps



Kazz teams up with his guitarist Kurobe-sensei to form Caps, a hip-shaking duo all about old time rock ‘n roll. With shimmering costumes and provocative pelvic thrusts, he gave it his all to show the crowed a good time. Their longest set list to date included the theme from Cat Eyed Boy, Heartbreak Hotel, Rock Around the Clock and Paul Anka's You Are My Destiny. Be it behind his drawing easel or under the stage lights, Kazz is a true entertainer.

Kazz and Golden Friends (Keiko Tomokiyo and Demerin)



“Everyone houses a snake within themselves... And today, it wakens” The band of prophets carries their warnings across the shifting sands to the ports of Odaiba. Sadly you have to see their staccato shuffling in person for the full sensuously creepy effect, but at least you can hear the Snake Girl song on Youtube.

The GWASH!! Makoto-Chan Dancers



No event would be complete without the Gwash dancers to bring it all back home with Gwash!! Makoto-Chan. They seem to multiply like viruses and every time there’s more and more of them, spilling over the stage and threatening to overtake the audience. This time around Demerin traded in her pink Makoto Mushi outfit for Cat-Eyed Boy cosplay.

How does a 73-year old keep himself surrounded with throngs of young, attractive women? The secret to his rock star lifestyle lies with his young, attractive heroines...

NEXT TIME: Umezz Girls Top 10 Countdown!